Chapters, My

8 10 2013

I’ve noticed in my nearly 30 years on this earth that our lives are made up of chapters, much like a book.

For most of us, it is outlined by major events in our lives.  For the military folk it is broken into their tours, as one tour ends, so begins a new phase in their lives.

I would say that I have had the usual ups and downs and life events in each chapter of my life.  High school and into the Navy was the first chapter, the longest, and maybe one of the most important.  It made me who I am today, and it is what shaped my values and codes.  However, the events since then have transformed me into so much more.

When I joined the Navy I was a completely different person.  I think I had always sought that structure in life, everything having a place and a recognized order.  This is what the Navy provided.  After boot camp, where I learned to just keep your mouth shut and follow directions…sometimes blindly, I went to school in Florida.  This is where I continued to learn how to not always speak my mind while I sometimes learned the hard way and rarely saw the “bigger picture” that everyone always talked about.  I just thought the military would be a four year job, and I could learn about myself, and start my college fund.  This is what I kept in mind for four years.  When I arrived in Hawaii to my first duty station, I was picked up for ceremonial guard where I performed in several burials and retirements.  This is where my sense of history and heritage began, meeting all kinds of people, all with individual stories and deep respect for what the Navy had provided them.  After a few months I headed up to my actual job.  It was not what I had hoped for, and did not prove to be as rewarding as I had hoped.  I was junior ranking, and I was so hungry for responsibility and the chance to lead people that I became discontented with my position and people telling me that some goals were just not possible.  I had some terrible leadership, and it is from them that I learned what not to do with my future Sailors.  I made a few long-lasting friends and got to explore Hawaii’s islands and also see Japan and the Philippines.

My second tour brought me to the middle east; the tiny island of Bahrain in the Arabian Gulf.  Yes, I actually had to google the place before agreeing to take on the orders.  Here I had an extremely rewarding tour and learned many leadership traits from several leaders who were in and out of the command, as it was a one year billet.  Although we worked our asses off and had many a 16-18 hour day, I wouldn’t go back and change a thing.  The work we put in was worth the dividends…but I did learn that when accepting high stress billets you need to be prepared.  I also learned how to live alone and depend on myself, so I came out much stronger on the other end.  I had time to start blogging and also get into fitness. For my next duty station, I knew it had to be a ship, in order to ensure my transition into the next higher paygrade, and also broaden my experience.

My most recent chapter brought me to the mighty sea….where Sailors belong, right?  My very first PCS tour afloat.  By far this has been the most rewarding tour yet.  I have learned so much from my chain of command as they have supported me in every move and decision I have made.  I have found my place in the Navy and they have empowered me to move forward with my career, which is what I will pass on to my Sailors.  The feeling I had when I was in Hawaii and I wanted so much to be the one making things happen and having those Sailors in my charge depending me was finally here.  It is unfortunate, but in the military you have to attain a certain rank to be put into positions of leadership.  Maybe I wasn’t ready in Hawaii, who knows, but I was  able to grow into the shoes that my previous mentors had left for me.

Through my travels in the Navy I have tried to date but never really made it work…some of the relationships bled over from one chapter to the next, but I could never force myself to choose my personal life over the military.  Which sounds pretty sad when saying it out loud.  Many a person has asked me what will be there for me after the Navy……the military or my family?  We all know the answer, however the military has yet to let me down as some of the men boys I have encountered….whether by simple incompatibly or pure self destruction.  Maybe the next chapter in my life will bring prince charming but for now I will stick with my Navy life and travels.  I am definitely open to any suitor that can handle this!



7 06 2012

So I’m sure at work you all have “that guy” who is completely awkward, kind of strange looking, and says shit that only creepy people think is normal.

We had one of those in Hawaii and these are a few of his “isms.” Found these while I was packing today.

1. Yea, the townspeople raised me. (Talking about how he was “raised in a cult”).

2. My glasses enunciate my forehead, they make it more pronounced.

3. Today is deader than my great great grandfather who died from kerosene poisoning.

4.  I’m perfectly content with talking with myself.

5. I was forced to eat one apple every five minutes for three hours. It was an order from the cult leader.

6. Why does no one talk about the fact Jesus had bastard children?

7. I wonder what it would be like if Inspector Gadget was a porn star.

8. My genius is actually true.

9. I’m not a good catcher, if you catch my drift.

10. (Someone asks) What color is this? (Lane responds) Shiny.

11. Sometimes I wish I was a bastard.

12. You just said my magic language.

13. My parents didn’t even know they were getting married until the middle of the meeting.

14. I don’t understand half of what I say or a millionth of what I think.

15. Someday I’m going to open Neverland Ranch 2.


16 01 2012

Well, it seems the year has come…the year that the world ends. According to the Mayan calendar.

I haven’t really done much…or any research on the topic, but they say it ends in December 2012, so I suggest we make this year count.

So, in honoring such, I’ve decided to set some goals. We all do this around New Years Eve, but these are more than resolutions, these are steps and milestones to getting my life back on track, and staying there.

My first NYE declaration was to quit smoking. I’m going strong on this so far. I do get cravings… but I give it about ten mins and it goes away and I’m onto something else. Someone told me that not talking about it to or with people helps. Things like, “Ug, don’t you want a smoke!!” doesn’t really help….or supress the urge.

Stay Healthy. No fad dieting, no crazy P90X stuff, just be healthy. Eat good food, exercise, and live an all-around healthy lifestyle. And, I have to say doing such gives you more energy and a better well-being. You breathe better, you feel better, and you feel good about what you’re doing. Sometimes it’s good to be selfish and focus on yourself, give yourself that me time. Of course there’s times to cheat…I gotta get my Diet Choco Coke in! One of my friends asked me if I’d do a “Dream Body Boot Camp” with her because she found some coupon for it online. And, according to my said goal… was a no-brainer. I signed up for a month and so far it has been slightly painful but a lot of fun. And the instructor is not bad on the eyes either. He is very motivating and has high energy to push you through the workouts. We get to play with tractor tires and those huge ropes that you see on Biggest Loser.

Finish my MBA. I started the program back in 2009 and after two classes that mind-raped me, I was a tad discouraged… Let me tell you, Finance and Accounting are no joke. So, now that I’m working only a few hours a day while we wait on our ship to be built, I have some time on my hands. So, I’m diving back in. I talked to an advisor and they say that those are the most challenging courses, that and Marketing. But it’s not suggested to take them at the same time. So I’m starting off easy with just two classes again, and they are online. Hawaii Pacific University, where I got my undergrad, offers an MBA program entirely online. It’s important to me to continue to learn. A degree is just a offensively expensive piece of paper hanging on the wall, but it’s one of those milestones I want to hit during my lifetime.

Keep exploring. Traveling and finding new places and learning new things is a huge part of my life that I hope never changes. I’d like to travel to Phoenix, Portland, Salt Lake City, and San Francisco this year. Four places I’ve never been and want to see. They are all within driving distance…kind of. I suppose a flight to SLC and Port may be in order. And also get to know my new home, San Diego.

Focus more on ME. Who cares what everyone else is doing, I need to stop worrying about everything else and focus on myself. I have plenty of things to work on for me that I don’t have the time or energy to worry about other people’s problems. Just make myself happy. I want to get out more, meet new people, do new things. I need to get out of my comfort zone. Sure, I’m happy sitting in on Friday and Sat nights watching Jersey Shore…but in doing that I think I’m letting life pass me by. Everyone needs their alone time, but I guess I’ve just grown used to being independent and relying on myself all the time in hopes that no one will disappoint me. But guess what, that shit still happens. And you can’t protect yourself from everything out there.

Guys what? No, I’m not going lez. I like men too much to do that. I think this last year has taught me to be careful for who’s out there, and not to protect your heart with an iron gate, but just know what you’re getting into. I’m at the age where flings and one night stands don’t really do it anymore. I need a partner. I’m not going to settle for less, and I’m not going to settle for someone who doesn’t love every single part of me. Which, I admit will be difficult to find because I can be a crazy woman sometimes. But after several relationships, I’m at a place where I know exactly what I want. Yeah, I can compromise, but I’m done with trying to change people so they can fit into what I believe is my perfect guy. If there are that many things that need changing, and it’s that difficult, it’s just not meant to be. Some decisions are hard to make, but the right choice is usually the clear one. So, from now on I’m not even going to waste my energy looking for a guy…they say love just happens. So hopefully when the time is right, something will happen.

Bleh, well if you’re still with me and haven’t dozed off, I hope you have an amazing 2012.

Make some moves people!!

December Tidings

6 12 2011

Well folks, it’s officially December. I can’t say this has been the most productive month so far…

I’ve been watching a lot of Teen Mom, Sister Wives, Real World, Gossip Girl, Desperate Housewives, and 19 Kids and Counting. Television kind of sucks your life away…I don’t know why I watch so much of it. Seriously on the weekend it’s like an all day thing and then all of a sudden it’s 8pm…where’d the day go? There’s this book called “The Black Rock”. I haven’t actually read it, but Sis Roch was telling me about it. It’s about this tribe back in the day who would waste away their lives staring at this black rock. They were so consumed by this rock that their lives flew by so fast and they accomplished nothing. Then all of a sudden they were old and crippled and they didn’t know where the time went. Kind of like a television box, no?

Speaking of black rocks, does anyone else think Kim K’s engagement/wedding ring was offensively large!? Like, 20 carats too large. Perhaps she will donate it to charity seeing as it didn’t really pan out..

Oh, and working. Which consists of going to classes for my upcoming duty on board a ship. Some diverse classes let me tell you.

We went down to Point Loma and Coronado Beach the other day and took some photos. It was a blast. If only I could do this for a living! But I don’t want my passion to become a job. So I’m happy doing it on my free time for now.

Me and the Missouri Man didn’t work out… Long story but I’m just not cut out for this long distance thing. I’ve known him since I was young, so we’re still going to be friends, but it sucks it didn’t work out. He can’t leave Missouri because of his job and I can’t leave CA because of my job. So that’s that. I think I’m giving up in the long-distance world of dating. It’s a hundred times harder than having a normal relationship. Every little problem is just magnified. I don’t know how people in the military get married or have kids. Well, the kids thing is easy. As for finding someone to spend your life with, you actually have to be in the same state at least to make things work. Considering I’ll be moving around for the next 13 years until retirement…that doesn’t make me very marketable.

Me and Sista Roch were discussing the other day how former bf’s just come out of the woodwork sometimes. That same day someone I knew in Bahrain emailed me out of the blue. He’d been on deployment for the last few months and just got back and wanted to see what I was up to. Why do guys randomly email/text/message you out of the blue? Well, my theory is that they’d like to keep you around in case they are in the same place as you and they want to hook up. That’s really the only reason I can see why they would want to string you along… And it’s never a, “Hey, how are you doing? How’s school? How’s work? Great, I’m doing well. Welp, have a good one!” No, it’s some crap about how they miss you and they wish they were where you were and so on. Well, I’m onto you boys in the woodwork. I’m not buyin it!

And, on top of that Mista B gets here in a week. We’re stationed on the same ship…I know what are the odds. So, mixed feelings about that. I haven’t seen him since April and I hope it’s not weird seeing him. I have been thinking about him. It’s not like you date someone and then break up and forget they existed and stop caring. So, it will be nice to catch up.

In that same department, an ex from Hawaii might be moving here for a job. He finds out in January. Weird. It seems like everyone and their mother are moving to California. Specifically San Diego. We don’t really talk much. We used to, but it’s gotten less and less over the years. I don’t really have any romantical feelings for him, but it would be nice to meet up and catch up on what he’s been doing.

AND, W is coming here in January for drill for a couple weeks. I haven’t seen him since summer of 2010 when we broke up for good. But we’ve been talking quite a bit. I still miss him and wonder what he’s doing all the time and wish that he would miss me. I’ve never really gotten a straight answer out of him about anything. I’m the wear-your-heart-on-your-sleeve type of person. And his is locked in a deep deep dark cave inside his chest. Maybe he doesn’t even know what he’s thinking or feeling. Guys are never good at that shit. But we basically have been talking for five years now. We dated for about a year when we were in Hawaii. Then we both got out of the military and it became a long-distance relationship. My favorite. Guess what, it didn’t work. I went to Bahrain and he went back to Hawaii and even though we kept talking the relationship thing didn’t pan out. But I’ve always wanted to be with him, regardless. It’s just tough because it’s up in the air where he’ll be for the next several years. I know I still have feelings for him, so maybe we’ll talk while he’s out here and hash some things out.

See what I mean, woodwork.

Hola Septiembre

5 09 2011

Well, it’s officially September.

The month I graduate.

The month I depart Florida.

The month I get to go home to see the friends and fam.

The month I drive from FL to CA.

The month I pray I don’t die on said cross-country trek make it safely across America.

The month I discovered the dangerously wonderful

The month I found a new scrapbooking store: Scraphappy of Pensacola

Although my time seems to be crawling here in Florida while at school, a lot of stuff has happened. The aforementioned “Hell on Heels” album came out…..But let’s not dwell on the past. There are a couple albums which I have been blown away by.

1. Eric Church’s “Chief” (title track, Homeboy)

2. Far East Movement’s “Free Wired” (think, liiiiike a G6)

In other news, I went home last weekend -last minute trip- to a friend’s wedding. It was very refreshing to see everyone and share the day with them. There was dancing, decorations, yummy food, and some great cake! As always great cake. Oh, and I even learned how to 2-step! It helps having a good partner who knows what they’re doing, southern accent to boot!

Upon my return to Alabama/Florida, I was greeted by the ugly face of Lee. The Tropical Storm Lee. Let me tell you, this kid is hideous. The rain, the wind, the waves. The waves on Orange Beach are crazy. As in, more crazy than Pipeline on Oahu crazy. Aka where the pros go for tournaments. For a generally mild-waved area, this shit’s bananas. The flag today was red. Which is what I assumed would be the harshest of weather, but no, there is a double red flag status which means you get arrested if you are found on the beach. Who would be out in weather even worse than this I do not know. But I did see some surfers out the last few days trying to catch some waves, and kill themselves in the process. Now, is it really worth it? I’d hate to go out for something silly like that…

Lee gettin' some

Other August News:

-Making guacamole for the first time. For a “wingin-it” recipe, it turned out quite nicely. The key is having fresh avocados. And good tomatoes.

-I have discovered the alleged all-fruit smoothies at Mc D’s are pretty damn delicious. (Now, on the topic of whether or not it’s entirely fruit in there, the jury is still out)

-A Mac desktop has been added to my “Christmas in October” wishlist. I am in near-desperate need for a new comp. The current, a Macbook from 2008 has served me well, but after four years I think it’s time for an upgrade. I am now 3 operating systems behind, and my stuff doesn’t seem to be working as well as it used to.

-My girls from home came to visit and we had a wonderful time. It was so nice to see my WIgals, and it was like we hadn’t missed a day, catching up on old times, shopping, and beaching. We went to a few different beaches, bars, and malls. Also we got matching tattoos. I know what you’re thinking, *cringe* “Matching tattoos?” Totally 90s, right? But we wanted to get something to represent our friendship, so we all got some form of a bird or a feather, to go with the saying “Birds of a feather flock together.” I got a feather that looks similar to the one over there —>

the shores of Alabama

22 08 2011

Not only does Alabama have outlet stores, the circus, and Waffle House; there are also beautiful shores!

This weekend I ventured out to the beach. Well, through the front lobby and down some stairs to the beach, anyway. The sand here is perfectly white and very fine. It’s like powder attached to ocean. Someone told me they brought tons of sand in after the oil spill.

Other than the washed up algae and the bed of ocean life underfoot, it is comparable to Hawaii.

Except for one small fact…. jellyfish. Oh, HI has jellies, but nowhere near the population here in the G.O.M. Gulf of Mexico.

As in, jellyfish in the water, jellyfish washed ashore, jellyfish in the pool! (That last part may have been fabricated…)

We saw several in the water here and at least 3 dead on shore. They look like a pile of clear jelly, you can’t really see their tentacles when they are all dead and not moving though. I had to poke one with a stick just to see if there would be any afterlife tentacle reaction. There was none, thankfully. I was a little disappointed, but happy I didn’t need anyone to pee on me. Not at all like that centipede we cut into 6 pieces in Hawaii. Talk about hardy.

Now, I like to think I’m not a complainer..but truth be told…I could very well be a self aware complainaholic. But when I go to the beach I am not exactly in the mindset to do battle with various sea creatures. Plus, I don’t carry weapons or anti-jellyfish poison on me…beach or otherwise. I’m more of a let’s-go-to-the-beach-and-relax kinda gal. Call me crazy.

Due to the overabundance of dead and alive jellyfish, we decided to migrate up to the hotel pool to better suit our floating lazily and sunbathing swimming needs.

So, we ended up by the pool… which we found what must have been the “class of 2007” reunion splashing around and drinking in the pool…with a volleyball…sans vollyball net…plus small children. I’m not a parent, nor do I possess maternal instincts, but I do know that if I had midgets of my own in there trying to enjoy a nice Saturday afternoon in the pool, I would be a tad piossed. Luckily, the parentals nearby were men and didn’t make any kind of scene, they merely pulled their little ones closer into the shallower section and minded their own water business. Hmm, the locals are polite here in Bama, I like.

I don’t know, call me old-fashioned, but if you are going to be drunk at noon and play volleyball in a 3 ft pool with a nonexistent net, at least wait till dark when there are no kids??

Shukran, Kingdom of Bahrain

30 04 2011

Had a bad dream last night about werewolves… I wonder what brought that on? Certainly not the movie we saw lat night, The Lincoln Lawyer, with Matt Mcconaughey & Ry Ry Phillippe (isn’t it a little excessive to have two L’s and also two P’s?). It was a decent movie, we wanted to see it cause B read the book during our Europe trip. He said the book was way better, as they typically are, take Harry Potter for example. There’s just so much more detail you can put into a book, than a two-hour movie. It did have quite the set list, though. It had the dude from Sweet Home Alabama, William H. Macy, Marisa Tomei, a chick from Bones, a chick from Grey’s Anatomy. The list goes on. OH! And Trace Adkins was a beat-em-up biker dude.

The mall was unusually busy last night. Possbily due to some kind of protest in the area, I don’t know, I’ve never seen it that busy in the two years I’ve been here. We actually had to circle around a few times to find a parking spot since the dumbass locals like to double park in their Range Rovers, Mercedes, and Bentleys. I can’t blame them though.

Today marks my 737th day on this island. I feel it is time to go. I have had some good experiences here, some learning experiences, and some shitty times. But all-in-all, I think I’ve grown from it, which is what anyone hopes after two years. I can’t really say that I’ve learned to respect the culture any more. Being here you would think that the culture would kind of grow on you and you would learn to respect and admire how they do what they do. But the people here are generally rude. The Bahrainis anyway. The other inhabitants, immigrants from the Philippines, India, Asian or African continents are actually very respectable. Even if they don’t know english, they know how to communicate and offer respect to passers-by.

I will be flying via four layovers and four air carriers to get to my destination into a little town in Iowa, where my parents have retired and made their homestead. Why IA you ask? Well, most of Mom’s family is in MO, and most of the step-dad’s family is in MN/WI. So, IA it was. Plus, the weather is more forgiving than the overwhelming humidity and scorching heat of MO, and the nearly unbearable winters of WI/MN. I never know how bad it was there until I had the experience to live in a state without seasons, without winter, without snow. And it was glorious. Yes, don’t get me wrong, I do miss winter. For maybe a couple of days. But that school’s-called-off-due-to-wind-chill days, I do not. Those I-coudln’t-leave-the-house-due-to-being-snowed-in, I do not. And for my next station of duty, I will not be seeing the likes of winter at all. It may be a bit chilly, but rarely snow, and extremely rarely ice. Wind chill? Nuh-uh.

My first leg will be on Lufthansa air, which I hear is quite nice. I think it’s the largest carrier in the world. So I’m interested to compare it with the likes of Qatar Air, Kuwait Air, and Emirates Air. I just googled Lufthansa, and this is what came up:

If that’s what my plane looks like, hell yeah. But I doubt that hunk of metal exists in the real world. On the chance it is real, there may or may not be an alien abduction in my future. Stay tuned.

Hey, has anyone seen that movie Paul? It's pretty hilarious.

Mista B is just about done with his hot stone massage (a February VD gift…), but the next time I’ll be talking in your face, I will be an American on American soil. You don’t know how good it is to say those words.

I think my mom has my homemade meals all lined up, she says the first stop once I hit ground is the grocery store. =) On my list are all the usuals: hot wings, won tons, mac-n-cheese, creme de menthe cake…I’m going to be so sick. The upside is that me and the B will be starting a little friendly competition, The Biggest Loser, once I arrive to Pensacola. SO my week home will be my last week of shit-food eating. Plus, beach season is right around the corner…or is it here already?