Just some words

27 04 2012

Don’t be a drag, just be a queen.

My life has a superb cast but I can’t figure out the plot.

Follow your heart but take your brain with you.

I don’t care what you think about me. I don’t think about you at all.

Forget what hurt you in the past but never forget what it taught you.

The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

If your dreams don’t scare you they’re not big enough.

If you want to know where your heart is, look to where your mind goes when it wanders.



10 12 2011

I had the strangest dreams last night.

Part I. Me and my sister were in the Ville and on the outskirts of town but there were still some busineses. But the run-down types of ones. So we are sitting there with another friend of ours on the curb just chewin’ the fat. And this girl and guy walk by. The girl had on some skinny jeans and Sista goes, “Did you see her jeans, so ugly.” Then the girl wheels around and was like: “Excuse me? What did you say??”, all snarky like. Me and is looked the other way pretending they weren’t there and she didn’t just dis the skinny jeans chick. The two peeps kept on walking….then we heard some gun shots…pointed in our direction. Yep, guns in my Missouri hometown, pop 10k. Sooo we jump up and start running. Like at light speed. Fastest I’ve ever run in my life. Fastest I’ve ever seen my sister run for that matter. We saw the bullets hitting the buildings around us.. so we kept running until we made it to these restrooms and hid out. Sis was crying and our friend was trying to console her. And I was still in a WTF moment of shock. Then we walked out of the bathroom to see if it was okay and it was perfectly sunny out and we were downtown.

Part II. We all went underway on the ship I’m on. It holds over 1000 people plus supplies and such. But all of our families were there. Well, most of our families and relatives. None of mine. But I did have two friends. One was Frank (the gay from Real World) and the other was a friend from Missouri. We’ll call him C. All over the ship there were Easter decorations and banners so I assume it was that season. Also, the water was insanely clear, so we must have been near Hawaii. You could see clear through the water, it looked about five feet deep or so. No clue how we were floating in it and not grounded. So we were sitting on the back of the ship, and the ship was towing all sorts of crazy shit. Like fair rides, giant blow-up rafts, a couple cars, about three anchors that were floating on the top of the water somehow. Some of the family members were called over the intercom to go to the side of the ship so they could be lowered down to the rafts to go get some stuff from their cars, which were apparently being towed on a barge far enough behind us that you couln’t see it. So Frank looks over at me and gives me an ultimatum to choose him or C. I start giggling and tell him that i choose him, Frank. Then he blows up and storms off. Apparently in the dream the real Frank’s name was not Frank, it was Mista B. So I chose him, but insulted him by calling him Frank?? Then, before we knew it we were pulling into port. Some of our cars were in the hangar bay vice the barge. So me and C both hop in our respective cars, or so I thought. I was driving off the boat and on my way home and notice C hopped in a candy-red corvette, that was definitely not his. So he’s behind me and we are trying to get home ASAP before he gets caught. On the way I realize I have a huge bag of floor mats. I start searching through them to find mine, black rubber with a dancing Elvis Presley on them. I pull into the driveway and see the corvette speed by. He missed the driveway. At this point the authorities were onto us. I go out to flag C down so he doesn’t get pulled over but it’s too late and his car gets shot up by whoever actually owns the car…..

Part III. We are on vacation with the whole crew from my ship. (I think I’m having ship themed dreams with Navy peeps because last night was our Xmas party….) I think we were in Canada for some reason. Victoria perhaps. So we’re on this boat tour (civilian boat this time). And we are looking at the shore and out to sea and blah blah like they do on tours. So we pull into the dock to get off the ship and I’m so distracted with whatever I bought (out to sea??) and shuffling around that I miss the docking. Everyone had gotten off and we had managed to pull away without me getting off….So all of a sudden we’re pulling in somewhere else that looked like a train station and was apparently very far away from where I was supposed to get off. I go talk to the tour director and ask for directions to where my tour group got off. And he replies with, “Well, you’re never going to find it without a tour guide or directions.” Okay..that’s why I asked, genius. 😉 Sooo I start crying and panicking that I lost everyone and now I’m stuck on this stupid boat. I explain to them a sob story about how I have never been out to sea and that I don’t have my sea legs and that when we left port I didn’t know so it’s not my fault that I didn’t feel the boat moving. They showed no sympathy. So I asked again, where my tour group was so that I could find them. And they said that my group was now on an island getting a helo ride over to Santee. I guess we were in San Diego? Santee, though? Random. Only thing I know that’s over there are some model homes that me and Kitty checked out the other weekend and Sonic. (Did I mention there is only one Sonic in San Diego??). I slump down, defeated, and refuse to get off of the boat in the train station and begin a stare down with the tour guide. I’m pretty sure I lost because that’s when I woke up.

…at least this shit wasn’t as bad as the time I ate Arby’s and then dreamt I had saws for fingers on one hand and was cutting off the fingers on my other hand. I haven’t had Arby’s since.


10 08 2011

I’m sure everyone has heard about the helo crash in Afghanistan that happened on the 6th.

If you haven’t, the story is below:


There are really no words to describe how tragic and unbelievable this is.

I was stationed with one of the men who died in the crash, and I remember him as being a great guy who could walk into any room and light it up. And I know people say that all the time about their friends and loved ones, but this guy really could. He had a thick accent, Philadelphia to be exact, and a crazy sense of humor and always knew how to make you smile and have a good time. And on top of that he was kind, honest, and dedicated to his job.

I knew he was doing something with the SEALS, but didn’t know exactly where or what he was doing because of the whole secrecy/liability thing. So when I heard about what happened, I immediately got a pit in my stomach. There were several men killed, and I had a feeling someone I knew was among them. It’s a feeling you can’t really describe. But it wasn’t a good thing I knew that. When I logged onto facebook I saw my friend’s pages and their statuses implied Mike had been one of them.

Immediately I felt sick. I understand a lot of soldiers, civilians, loved ones, friends, etc have given their lives during this war (and many others), but you never expect someone you know to be one of them. Not that it makes it meaningless when you don’t know those that have died, but when you actually served with someone and were friends with them, it changes everything. It makes you angry, sad, vengeful, sick, and bewildered all at once.

The news says he was recently engaged and had just bought a house. And now the dreams are over. Families, friends, everyone is left behind wondering why. Why do these awful terrible things have to happen to such good people. Such honorable, strong, courageous people.

Most of us just want this war to be over. And they keep putting dates out as to when we will be fully turned over and out of there. But can you really put a date/timeline on this sort of thing? Naturally we would love for our people to be home. Those that we have a life with, those we are friends with, those we have served with, but we will be done when we are done. All we can do is fight this war, and do the best that we can using the resources we have.

Personally I would like to take the whole fucking place out. What good comes from it? If there was a way to get all of the innocent civilians out of the theater and then bomb it to hell, that would be a perfect solution. But we all know this is not possible.

I wasn’t best friends with Mike, or even close friends, but I do know that he was one of a kind, he loved his country, he loved his fiance, he loved his family, and it is a shame he was taken. People say there is a reason for everything, but I’m not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel for this one. Mike was taken too early. His job in life and the military were not done.

I know he would want us to all move on with our lives and do what makes us happy, and he would tell his family that everything would be okay, because he was just that kind of guy, but for right now this whole thing is making me realize life is so precious.

30 before 40

13 05 2011

So, one of my friends posted on her blog “Twentysomething”;

twentysomethingdmi.blogspot.com/2011/05/30-x-30-how-hard-could-it-be.html, a 30 x 30 list.

I came up with a similar list, but adapted it to 30 x 40. Getting to 30 is right around the corner, 3.5 years around that corner to be exact…but as they say, age is relative and I’m a firm believer in that.

Anyhow, these are the goals I am actively pursuing to accomplish before year 40:

  1. Visit Greece
  2. Visit India
  3. Visit Ireland
  4. Visit Russia
  5. Visit S. America
  6. Travel to all 50 states
  7. Road trip from the east coast to the west coast
  8. See the Grand Canyon
  9. Graduate from Law School
  10. Go to Cosmetology School
  11. Get my pilot’s license
  12. Complete my MBA
  13. Become a commissioned Naval Officer
  14. Become a mother
  15. Marry the man of my dreams
  16. Own a home
  17. Be free of all debt
  18. Become a productive member of a church
  19. Read the bible in its entirety (who doesn’t have this goal?)
  20. Go on a mission trip
  21. Take the lead on a local volunteer program
  22. Shave my head
  23. Bungee jump (think Mista B would be down for this one?)
  24. Drive a tractor
  25. Own a farm dog
  26. Live a healthier lifestyle and pass on my knowledge
  27. Complete a half marathon
  28. TBD
  29. TBD
  30. TBD
  31. See Big Ben (2000)
  32. Travel to HI (2001)
  33. Visit the Black Forest (2000)
  34. Bachelor’s degree (2007)
  35. Solo Backpacking trip (2008)
  36. Travel Eastern Europe (2011)
  37. Military overseas service (2006 & 2009)
  38. Skydive (2007)
  39. Learn to ride a motorcycle (2007)
  40. Try sake (2006)
  41. Visit Asia (2006)