That was a long nap.

20 12 2015

Well well, basically two years later.

What’s up world?

Christmas is in a week! Less than a week, so that’s pretty exciting.  I’m headed to see the fam.  We are going on a big trip in January to London, so although the Christmas visit will be short we will be reunited in another land, and several time zones over.

We went to London in high school, I’m sure not much has changed.  It will be fun to see the sights, maybe take a river cruise.

Watching The Intern right now, pretty good movie.  It’s a little depressing here and there.  Strange roles for Robert Dinero and Anne Hathaway, but an all-around good one.

I can’t wait to see Star Wars!  Me and B are going to watch it at this sweet theater neither of us have been to.  I’ve seen a couple of the old ones, so I should probably brush up, aye?  Oh!  And, we’re going to tour a brewery, it’s pretty much or thang.  Now that I like beer.  I hated it my whole life, but since moving to Denver I’ve really tried to branch out.

Half day at work tomorrow, wahoo!


WTF FRIDAY. Edition 008

24 12 2010

Perhaps I should say WTF CHRIS(tmas)! Doesn’t have the same ring that WTF CHUCK does..but it’ll do pig, it’ll do.

So, have you ever received a gift from someone you’re not really friends with, but it’s an over-the-top gift? Do you accept??

This morning I got a gift that I was NOT expecting, and especially from the individual in question. What do I do?? Accept? It’s rude not to, right? It’s always awkward when a friend, loved one, family goes OVER THE TOP with a gift and then you’re left there in the shadows with a hand-made scrapbook of your summer adventures, stain from the coffee you spilled on the cover and all. So, do you just let them one -up you? Or do you put on your game face for baby Jesus’s birthday? In this case, I barely talk to the it’s extra specially awkward. Kind of like in elementary/middle school where you get that secret admiror heart that the Student Council delivers to kids on Valentine’s Day (VD as we like to call it back home). So you are left there thinking…wtf, is this from a real secret admiror, that boy you’ve had your eye on since you met in 4th grade, you know, the one who transfered in mid-year and was oh-so mysterious. OR, is it from your sister in a grade up, OR is it from one of your friends fucking with you? Who knows.

Talk about a crossroads in life.


21 12 2010

Selective Obsessive Compulsive. Every family/group of friends needs someone who has OCD. And I wouldn’t really call it a “disorder”, everything has a place so why not put shit where it belongs. I don’t care who you are, when you walk into a clean room and breathe that sigh of comfort and relaxed feeling, that’s thanks to people like me! (Or my housekeepers) Either way, I think we al prefer a straightened room every now and then. I’m not a cleaning freak, obviously, since I can wait three days for my cleaners to come and do the dishes, but I do like blankets to be folded and tables to be clean.

Plus, weird people make life interesting.

Dude, I need to see that show, “What would you do?” Looks intense. Kind of like that show “To Catch a Predator” …..well not really like that show at all, but it WAS the shit and it was reality-ish although I do believe some of it was rather embellished.

I got some new pants, North Face something-ruther. They are I’m-35ish-and-want-to-backpack-Europe-esque. But they are super comfy and grey, so they match anything. Plus, you can roll the legs up and button them to be capris, or zip the legs off to be shorts. Except for when I sit down the butt pockets make a velcro noise. Mayyyybe that’s a sign.

I cannnnnn’t wait to get back to America. I need to look up who’s going to be playing in P-cola, well near P-cola, so I can get to a concert, been wayy too long! Concerts are way fun, they make me feel alive, like you’re a different person for the night, or like you have had a brush with fame — in the 3rd level out kind of way. 7 degrees of separation, right? Some of my friends may be coming by to visit while I’m there. Bedilia, Matti, and Sme*. All completely different girls but I love them all the same. It’s always nice to have friends around. I haven’t seen Sme since 2006, so it would have been five years, whoofta, too long. Bedilia, bad ass chick, she’s a blast to hang out with and we get into some crazy conversations. Margaritas will be involved =). Matti, she reminds me of home, and is so sincere, AND a good cook! Hoping her and her huz can stop by P-cola on their road trip to VA. How awesome is it that I get to be in P-cola for the summer, wonderful. FL does get cold, believe you me. I was there Oct-Jun and it got quite chilly. Too cold for the beach. My second stay there will be quite shorter than 9 months during the first round, but fun all the same. I’m ready to get to my ship.

Tyler Perry made a movie called “For Colored Girls” …hmm what?

I can’t believe xmas is in four days. Crazy shit.

IIIIIIIIII”m gonna go to the mall now. Goodbye.

*All names have been changed in order to protect their anonymity.

Stop screaming my name damnit!

13 12 2010

Seriously. Can a woman go into a jewelry store and not buy anything? No, not possible. NOT POSSIBLE. I ventured into a specific jewelry store this evening in search of a gift for mi hermana. What I found was yes, a gift for her..and one for me too. Well, it was just calling my name.. Buuyyyyy meeee I’m so pretttyyyyyy I make your finger look so niiiiiice. =) And plus, it was time for a new ring anyway…..I’ll be the judge of this. That’s the joy of not being married or having kids, you can throw your monies around sometimes and not feel incredibly guilty about it..just kind of guilty.. In the I feel guilty but I have a pretty new ring feeling. I got the sis a white gold ring with four diamonds and an opal on it..Or what I think is an opal. It’s white anyway. It’s supercute and she’ll LOVE it!! (I hope she hasn’t randomly stumbled upon this blog…) Talk about ruining xmas..

My dang nabbit phone ran out of minutes. I’m not sure why military here don’t get regular cell phone services..but it seems that we all just use the prepaid ones. I go through about $66 in minutes a month, so basically like a monthly plan with AT&T..but my phone is shitty and the alarm doesn’t work all the time. However, you don’t get the annoying bills in the mail cause you already paid. So there’s one good thing about that. Anyway, I feel naked without minutes on my phone. What if there’s an emergency?? WTF WTF WTF Our fire alarm is going off. I don’t smell any fire. I must be psychic or something.. I mean, I don’t smell any fire smells… Or see anything burning, I think I”m good. Plus, I’m only on the second floor… (which is really the third floor to these Bahrain dweebs) so I guess if worse comes to worse

I’m going to eat some McDonald’s now. Don’t you judge me.

Upper class white guilt

11 12 2010

So, this chick that works in my office brought up in a totally casual conversation that she used to be a mortician. I guess she went to college to get a BA in Physical Training and went on to get an MA in Kinetics or something…Then somewhere between her joining the Marines and getting out of 6 years of college, she decided to go to school to learn how to cut people open and embalm them. I was like “WTF”..why why would you do that? She got a scholarship to play bball in college so basically she got her degrees for free… So, after 6 yrs of her life paid for, she said she wanted to give back to humanity, that she had that “Upper class white guilt” and she needed to do something to give back to the community. Best quote of the day. To become a mortician all you need is a Bachelor’s degree, and then you go to school for a year to learn how to embalm, cut people up, etc and you can become a licensed mortician. For her, she isn’t religious and she isn’t too sensitive to gore and bodily mutations… Anyhow, so after I got over the fact I was completely grossed out, I started in with my questions.

1. bloodlovehopeluststeam: How do you drain the blood? Mortician Marine Physical Trainer Extraordinaire : You make a cut near the collarbone and slice the artery down the middle. Then you start pushing the embalming fluid through and from the arteries it gets pushed through all of the veins. When the fluid starts coming out the other side more clear than regular blood, bam, you’re done! You have to drain the organs as well because they’re full of blood.

2. BLHLS: Gross, how do you do that..push on them until it comes out of a hole somewhere? MMPTE: No, you take a huge syringe and insert and suck all the blood out. Then you inject the organs with concentrated  embalming fluid. It’s not possible to get all the blood out, usually only 80% of it.

3. BLHLS: So, after the syringe is full, where does the ….ick….go…?  MMPTE: It goes into barrels under the mortuary and gets stored there until they come to drain it.

4. BLHLS: Wow…that’s disgusting. MMPTE: Yeah, it’s how hospitals do it.

5. BLHLS: Do the families bring clothes, or how do you decide what they wear? MMPTE: Usually the families bring in clothes, but if it’s someone from a nursing home and they don’t have anything appropriate to wear we have clothes for that. Sometimes the family brings in an outfit they wore twenty years ago, and I’m like ‘Come on, seriously? How the hell am I going to get them into this??’. BLHLS: So what do you do? MMPTE: I make it work, whatever it is, I get them into it, sometimes we have to cut the whole back of the shirt, or the sides, but I get them in the clothes.

6. BLHLS: Do you do their makeup? MMPTE: Yeah, we do airbrush actually. BLHLS: Even to guys? MMPTE: Yeah, them too. We had this one lady that was missing one side of her cheek. You could see her  teeth and tongue through her cheek. We had to reconstruct her face and airbrush over it. She had skin cancer. And, one time we had a lady who had a huge tumor growing out of her side. Like, the size of a basketball. We had to drain it. BLHLS: Wait wait, what? How do you not go to the hospital for that sort of thing and get it checked out. People don’t just wake up one day, roll over, and realize there is a GD beach ball growing off of them. MMPTE: You’d be surprised how some people just don’t take care of themselves. They just never go to the doc, and then one day it gets so bad that they have to, and they go to the hospital and die.

7. BLHLS: What happens if you don’t embalm them…does a day or two really make a difference? MMPTE: Yes, they need to be preserved for a few days or so so the family can all make it into town. It needs to be done as soon as possible after the body is delivered.

8. BLHLS: How do you not vomit when you smell them, or when you have to cut them open?? MMPTE: It’s pretty gross, but I have a high tolerance for that stuff somehow, and I’m not religious at all, so that helps. BLHLS: So, do the organs squirt out at you ever when you’re draining them? MMPTE: YES, all the time. BLHLS: Do you wear a cover over your face, ick what if it gets in your MOUTH. MMPTE: Yeah, we do. Especially for autopsies. When the body stops circulating blood, the gasses and whatnot gets caught up in the body. Dead people are nasty, I don’t care who you are.

9. BLHLS: Do you have to do autopsies ever? MMPTE: Yeah, you cut in a Y-shape on their — BLHLS: ah, oh oh, like on TV? Like in the movies right? MMPTE: Yeah, like on TV. You cut a Y-shape from the collar bones towards the center and then on down past the belly button and then you open it up to examine all the organs. BLHLS: That’s fucking gross.

 So, I just googled autopsy and for some reason pictures of Michael Jackson and aliens are the images that come up.

Speaking of things that creep me out…

1. Unescorted TCN’s on base

2. Spiders, the big ones

3. Small towns that have two zip codes…..??

4. Styrofoam & cotton balls

I’m making out my xmas cards and getting more and more frustrated by the second. Can everyone just get old and stay in one place!??! All these name changes and frequent re-locaters. I’m prob the one who moves the most, but STILL! Ugh. My address book looks like Wolverine had his way with it. This is about the only time of the year I send post by snail mail, unless I have a random package to mail.

You know what’s better than beer? Root Beer! Eating a lil salad with Olive Gardressing. One of my friends was gracious enough to mail me some = ) No OG over here. We got Chilis, Bennigan’s, Fridays, ‘Bee’s, but no OG. It’s a damn shame.

It’s December. Snow, get your ass in gear.

7 12 2010

Watching a new show. It’s called “V”. About aliens and shit. I think it’s a remake of an old tv show. It’s got Juliet from Lost in it, so how bad can it be?? I rented the first disc.

Got a new guitar a couple days ago. She’s a beaut. It’s a washburn and it’s so pretty. New strings, nice and tuned, sounds AMAZING. Like real music. Working on “Our Song” by Taylor Swift, “Use Somebody” by Kings of Leon, and “You Belong With Me” by Taylor Swift”.

Beautiful sunset the other night. Who knew the middle east could look so nice. I’ll leave out the part that there were over 20 black flags behind me. Black flags mean it’s a Shi’a neighborhood = AMERICANS GO AWAY. Go far far away. Baaasically a sign that we are not welcome there. That would explain all of the dirty looks and stares. That, or the fact we were the only whities within a ten mile radius.

OH, and started watching “Sons of Anarchy”. Only through the first episode so far, but it has the mom from Married With Children in it, so clearly it’s pretty BA. And it has Angie from Desperate Houswives..she’s basically a crackwhore baby mama of the main character. Who’s pretty hot btw. He’s got some rather scraggly hair, but I guess I can get behind it. = )

Got the xmas tree put up, complete with stockings and gifts surrounding the little greenie. It’s a midget pine. Can’t be havin a largical tree in here. I have a real life one back home, in storage, but just too much of a hassle to go carrying it around the world. The tree looks pretty funny considering it’s desert outside, next to the ocean and summer weather. Just like HI I suppose. Xmas just isn’t the same without the snow and cold weather. Momasita sent me a pic of their new house in IA, it’s snowing back home. December, makes sense = )

Perhaps it makes me a bit homesick to see snow. I’ve had one winter in the last five years. I did miss the cold, but several months of cold is a little much. I’m excited to go visit their place in IA. The midwest is a place like no other. Good people, good eats, plenty to do. I’ll prob retire there someday. No matter where you settle down you can always travel to wherever you’d like. Especially when you’re retired. Plus, it would be nice to be close to family and friends. Except one thing..driving in the snow sucks balls. I’ve almost got in so many accidents driving in the snow/ice.

Mahdie Kiiiissmahs!

3 12 2010

Greeting from the gate guard this morning at 0445. (see above) Was not ready for that one.. Bangledeshi ninja guard at gate, you got me good this time!

Speaking of baby Jesus, I missed the Xmas tree lighting ceremony last night. I bet it was spectacular. There are so many decorations all over base. It’s insane. I’ve counted at least 18 Christmas trees.

My friend B is trying to find a baby name, she’s due in Feb and hasn’t an idea of what she’ll name the new babe. Her son’s name s Keoki Albert. (G-pa’s name is George-Keoki is HI for George-, Albert is her dad’s name)… so she’s wanting another Hawaiian boy name that kind of goes with that. HOWEVER the HI alphabet only has 13 it’s pretty slim pickins for another kickass-y name like Keoki. Landon Kai is a name she’s lookin at (Landon is Hawaiian??). Or, Kahana, Kaikane, Kaleo, Kaulana, Ke’Ala. Kahana’s my fave. Kahana Vans. Vans was her nickname before she got married and her last name changed. She says Kahana means turning point. Totally a sign, since they’re going through a divorce and she’ll basically be raising their two kids without him. Long story, but he’s being a pretty huge deushe. 

Woof, yet another reason I may never get married. It’s so complicated. And when there’s kids involved..messy messy. However, my sister and brother have made lasting marriages so far (not to each other. No Kentucky shit going on here). OH and my bro and his wife just had a baby two days ago, James Louis. = ) She’s already up and at some dance recital for my neice. WTF, whatever happened to being bed ridden for a couple days after giving birth?? Supermom much?