Vanilla

2 06 2014

So how do you know when you’re in a vanilla relationship?

I think we’ve all been there but maybe not realized until it’s too late, or over that it was vanilla.  It’s just kind of boring, stagnant….and lame.

I’ve been seeing this guy I met a bit ago, it’s been almost four months, and I don’t know hardly anything about him.  Learning about his family, hobbies, anything is like pulling teeth.  And I ask, if you don’t want to share/open up, why are you dating?? Or, if your’e not ready, then just tell me and save us both the time.

It’s not like I”m at the point where I need to freeze an egg or anything, but I am pushing thirty.  Like, at the doorstep with my hand on the knob, pushing.  I am truly not trying to rush anything, but I honestly don’t have two years to try and crack that shell. If you’re not ready, I can move on.  I’m at the point where I know what I want….and I think a couple months should be enough to kind of figure out if you can see a future or if it’s not what you need.

Maybe it’s him, maybe it’s me.  But I do know that when you’re dating, you make time for each other, and you start opening up.  You should feel that deep down need to see them and be around them.  And I don’t.  Which is crazy.

I’m usually the friend who’s like mooooove on girrrrlfriend, boot his ass.  But when you’re in that vanilla, you can’t really think or see clearly… When you realize you’re in the thick of it and need to cut ties, you don’t want to be rude, but you also want to explain what you are thinking.  It always seems to go sour though. So maybe a clean cut, a just, um goodbye would suffice??

I want certain things, and I’m not willing to budge.  I can compromise on a lot, but a man meeting my needs is not one of them. I’m like any girl, I want to feel special, I want little surprises – a note, or a sweet comment.  I want to be needed, be heard, and have someone genuinely care about where I”m going in my life, and wanting to meet those needs.

And though I am not the best cook, hate laundry, and don’t know how to fix…..anything really….I bring a lot of other things to the table.

Another thing is traveling.  That I am not willing to budge on. Ever! Love love traveling, and if my man doesn’t have a wanderer’s heart, I can’t do it.

I think the bachelorette gives women kind of a jaded view of love.  That and Disney movies. Puh-lease, no relationship is like princess land-esque.  I get it.  Buuuuut some days you should feel like a damn princess!

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Was he the one?

18 07 2013

So, have you ever been in that situation that you miss your ex?

It happens to me more than not with this one. You are on and off…and eventually you realize that maybe he’s the one. And you gave up too soon without trying.

Time away makes you remember the good times, and how he was there for you, accepting your flaws and insecurities when 99% of the population wouldn’t.

You want to tell them everything. So much all at once, but how?  You don’t know where they are at or if you will make a fool out of yourself. Or if they have moved on and are on a completely different road.

OR, maybe it’s just one of those times where you are lonely and just remember the good things and forget all the annoying little things and reasons you couldn’t be with them in the first, second, or third place.

I think as you get older you begin to appreciate the little comforts, quirks, mannerisms of your partner. And you just need them. Someone who is there for you no matter what, thick and thin. You realize that’s the only thing that really matters, the most important thing. And everything else you can work on. I think you focus on the foundation and learn that everything else will fall into place.

…but how do you tell them?