Dreamsturbia

10 12 2011

I had the strangest dreams last night.

Part I. Me and my sister were in the Ville and on the outskirts of town but there were still some busineses. But the run-down types of ones. So we are sitting there with another friend of ours on the curb just chewin’ the fat. And this girl and guy walk by. The girl had on some skinny jeans and Sista goes, “Did you see her jeans, so ugly.” Then the girl wheels around and was like: “Excuse me? What did you say??”, all snarky like. Me and is looked the other way pretending they weren’t there and she didn’t just dis the skinny jeans chick. The two peeps kept on walking….then we heard some gun shots…pointed in our direction. Yep, guns in my Missouri hometown, pop 10k. Sooo we jump up and start running. Like at light speed. Fastest I’ve ever run in my life. Fastest I’ve ever seen my sister run for that matter. We saw the bullets hitting the buildings around us.. so we kept running until we made it to these restrooms and hid out. Sis was crying and our friend was trying to console her. And I was still in a WTF moment of shock. Then we walked out of the bathroom to see if it was okay and it was perfectly sunny out and we were downtown.

Part II. We all went underway on the ship I’m on. It holds over 1000 people plus supplies and such. But all of our families were there. Well, most of our families and relatives. None of mine. But I did have two friends. One was Frank (the gay from Real World) and the other was a friend from Missouri. We’ll call him C. All over the ship there were Easter decorations and banners so I assume it was that season. Also, the water was insanely clear, so we must have been near Hawaii. You could see clear through the water, it looked about five feet deep or so. No clue how we were floating in it and not grounded. So we were sitting on the back of the ship, and the ship was towing all sorts of crazy shit. Like fair rides, giant blow-up rafts, a couple cars, about three anchors that were floating on the top of the water somehow. Some of the family members were called over the intercom to go to the side of the ship so they could be lowered down to the rafts to go get some stuff from their cars, which were apparently being towed on a barge far enough behind us that you couln’t see it. So Frank looks over at me and gives me an ultimatum to choose him or C. I start giggling and tell him that i choose him, Frank. Then he blows up and storms off. Apparently in the dream the real Frank’s name was not Frank, it was Mista B. So I chose him, but insulted him by calling him Frank?? Then, before we knew it we were pulling into port. Some of our cars were in the hangar bay vice the barge. So me and C both hop in our respective cars, or so I thought. I was driving off the boat and on my way home and notice C hopped in a candy-red corvette, that was definitely not his. So he’s behind me and we are trying to get home ASAP before he gets caught. On the way I realize I have a huge bag of floor mats. I start searching through them to find mine, black rubber with a dancing Elvis Presley on them. I pull into the driveway and see the corvette speed by. He missed the driveway. At this point the authorities were onto us. I go out to flag C down so he doesn’t get pulled over but it’s too late and his car gets shot up by whoever actually owns the car…..

Part III. We are on vacation with the whole crew from my ship. (I think I’m having ship themed dreams with Navy peeps because last night was our Xmas party….) I think we were in Canada for some reason. Victoria perhaps. So we’re on this boat tour (civilian boat this time). And we are looking at the shore and out to sea and blah blah like they do on tours. So we pull into the dock to get off the ship and I’m so distracted with whatever I bought (out to sea??) and shuffling around that I miss the docking. Everyone had gotten off and we had managed to pull away without me getting off….So all of a sudden we’re pulling in somewhere else that looked like a train station and was apparently very far away from where I was supposed to get off. I go talk to the tour director and ask for directions to where my tour group got off. And he replies with, “Well, you’re never going to find it without a tour guide or directions.” Okay..that’s why I asked, genius. 😉 Sooo I start crying and panicking that I lost everyone and now I’m stuck on this stupid boat. I explain to them a sob story about how I have never been out to sea and that I don’t have my sea legs and that when we left port I didn’t know so it’s not my fault that I didn’t feel the boat moving. They showed no sympathy. So I asked again, where my tour group was so that I could find them. And they said that my group was now on an island getting a helo ride over to Santee. I guess we were in San Diego? Santee, though? Random. Only thing I know that’s over there are some model homes that me and Kitty checked out the other weekend and Sonic. (Did I mention there is only one Sonic in San Diego??). I slump down, defeated, and refuse to get off of the boat in the train station and begin a stare down with the tour guide. I’m pretty sure I lost because that’s when I woke up.

…at least this shit wasn’t as bad as the time I ate Arby’s and then dreamt I had saws for fingers on one hand and was cutting off the fingers on my other hand. I haven’t had Arby’s since.

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