WTF Weds: Ed 011 Oh Shiiiiiiit

16 03 2011

Oh so much has happened in the America since my departure in 2009. Picked up a Star Mag today (yes I’m doing the crossword, it makes you smart. You learn new words and stuff) and I was alarmed about how behind the times I am.

If you are a man with an unwavering sexual orientation, then read no further. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Gossip to follow…

Miley feuding with her father, possibly estranged.

Scarlett Johanson, back on with Josh Hartnett?

The Glee teacher dude is dating a hottie hot with dark hair…Olivia something?

One of the vamps from Twilight is dating a JoBro. What would his Bible-toting fam think of this…

Matt McConaughey is running…..okay that hasn’t changed much in five years.

Stephanie Pratt still annoying and awkwardly skinny.

Celine Dion is TINY after having twins. What gives? I must go see her in Vegas someday, she would be amazing in concert. (Does this mean I’m an old lady?)

Obnoxiously large and cumbersome hairy vests are in? Dear 70’s please take your fashion back. We no want you here.

Emma Watson (Hermione!) hacked her hair.

Rihanna on the worst-dressed list…yawn what’s new.

Mariah Carey bought two cribs worth $20,000 each, and three strollers (yeah, for twins…) that were $5,000 a piece. Well, Mer Mer if you are so loaded why don’t you go ahead and bail our government out so they don’t hold my next paycheck kthxbye

Lamar Odom and Mrs. Lamar Odom have a new fragrance, a cologne/perfume hybrid called “Unbreakable”….that’s just strange and creepy. I believe that title has already been taken…by a movie…with Samuel L Jackson. How about a little originality, Lambo

Jesse James and Kat Von D? That’s just fucked up. Lost all respect for the both of you.

Dancing with the Stars has a hair collection…random.

David Archuleta has been dropped by his label. Aw ..sad..

Jessica Alba is preggars…again. Cash, you gonna marry that woman or what?

And, now we are in the 2011’s. Ah, feels good.




2 responses

16 03 2011

They are married, sis. You must have missed the mag on that one.

16 03 2011

who’s married?

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