Leg Wetter

10 03 2011

Have any of you ever peed your pants? Like, I mean SERIOUSLY peed your pants? Not that…”Oh shiiit I’m laughing so hard I just peed a little.” That’s something that everyone does, you’re not unique.

I remember in 5th grade we were at a friend’s house filming a play for Language Arts about Romeo and Juliet and we were laughing so fucking hard at something…who really knows what 5th graders laugh about. Probably some stupid shit that adults would never think is funny…so there I was hysterically laughing and I literally peed my pants. A 11 yr old offender. At the time it was super embarrassing but as I reminisce about my youth I feel like it’s a perfectly normal part of learning how to control your bladder and your individual laughing capabilities. I bet there isn’t a one of you that hasn’t pissed themselves at one point or another in their lives. Sober or otherwise.

Oh, and I’ll tell you this right now, I’ve peed in a urinal, I’ve peed in those sorry excuses Kuwait calls a “throne”, I’ve peed in a trough, I’ve peed in the woods, and I’ve peed in pools…multiple times in fact. That’s what they put chemicals in there for, folks. And if you try to tell me that you have never done these things, then you are a liar, and liars go to Hell. I bare no shame. I am a creature of this planet!

You know what’s really strange? Cows pee out their  butt. Snowmen can pee. Waterfalls: Nature’s pee. If you are a guy who sits and pees, you’re probably gay. I wonder if dogs ever think, “Jesus Christ, can I get a little privacy up in here??” I will never again touch a ladybug.

One more thing, why do people create statues that pee??

According to spellcheck “peed” is not even a word….so how do you say that you had a pee in your pants…in the past? Tell me this!




2 responses

10 03 2011

You are too funny!
According to dictionary.com your spell check is wrong.


11 03 2011

YESsssss Damn you wordpress!

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