Marching Orders

8 03 2011

Word of the day: obeisance.

So I was walking across base the other day to the Household Goods Office (affectionately referred to as Bum Fuck Egypt), and I had an epiphany. While in uniform and outside with a cover on, you are required to salute every officer, O-1 to O-9. No matter if you are older than them, or you’ve been in longer than them. If they have a shiny device gold or silver on their collar/cover you must render a salute. Luckily for officers, if your rank is the same as the person’s rank walking at you, you don’t have to salute. Bastards.

But, I’m the enlisted type and I must salute everyone. So on this particular day I was in uniform and trotting my ass over to the HHG office. Now, trekking around base is a process in itself. So many people pop out of nowhere. Bushes, corners, doors. They could be anywhere, and you must have that right arm handy to salute at the drop of a hat. And as I continue to think about it, it’s sort of like a video game, except for there’s no prizes. You’re rounding that corner by the chapel, unbeknownst there is a Lieutenant hiding in the shadows of the entryway, whuuup BAM! Salute. Or you are coming out of the Single Sailor Center and you see that person coming up in the distance, not sure if they are turning your way or not, and also not entirely sure if they are wearing an anchor or a gold leaf.  SHABAM! Salute. And funny story, I’ve actually been saluted a couple of times. So I guess it’s reassuring that I’m not the only idiot out there.

It’s mostly the same result every time:

(Salllllute) “Good morning Sir.” ….Sir: (salute) “Good morning”.

(Salllllute) “Top of the day, Ma’am.” ….Ma’am:  (salute) “Good morning”

I kind of wish they would at least change it up a bit. “What’s up Bitch?” or a “How ya doin you dirty wankah”. Nope, same result. The division commanders must drill it into them in boot camp to be professional at ALL times.

What’s really annoying is if you salute and they don’t see you so you feel like an idiot….and just hold it as you pass by. Or when you approach a gaggle of high ranking officers and you’re not sure if they are acknowledging passers-by so you just salute and walk on by… But that ONE day that you forget to salute or think they aren’t looking is the day you get your ass reamed for not rendering honors. I tell ya.

So, when in doubt pull out, salute.




One response

9 03 2011

What’s this when in doubt pull out, sh*t?!

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