WTF Weds: Ed. 002 “Trust me, I’m with the Government”

12 01 2011

If anyone ever says this to you (see above), turn the other way. Can’t trust anyone gov’t affiliated. Trust me. I’m with the government. Did you know that after hurricane Katrina, FIMA set up “recreational camps” all over the US? I’m not sure on the count, but I am pretty sure there’s at least one in every state. However, if you look at satellite imagery of these “camps”, they look more like segregation camps or minimum security penitentiaries. They are allegedly in case another natural disaster happens in the U.S and living at home becomes unsafe. We are to muster at these locations and wait it out until America is good-to-go. I donno it seems strikingly familiar to the whole Japanese “training camps”. The people who started these camps off are also a part of little known agencies around the U.S. that monitor everyone’s day-to-day habits. Such as phone calls, purchases, internet activity, living arrangements, anything. And they are allowed to do this via the USA PATRIOT Act, which btw is an acronym..who knew. “Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism Act of 2001”. Now that is a mouthful. I can see why they shortened it up. I guess a 23-yr old on the congressional staff dreamt that shit up. (so says wikipedia). Anyhow, for those of you who don’t know, this act gives the gov’t full authority to monitor (listen into your phone conversations and hack your computer, even to literally spy on your using infra-red detectors, etc) at their leisure. Pretty fucked up, but I guess if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to hide.

I’m not conspiracy theorist, but we got on the topic of government experiments the other day at work. Apparently there is this place called Plum Island off of the northeastern coast, of Massachusetts (you gotta google this shit). They do experiments there on animals…however it is assessed by theorists and gov’t spooks that they do nuclear testing there. Funny enough it all started shortly after WWII ended, shortly after we took on (offered safety/shelter/a better life) Germany’s top nuclear scientists as our own. To work for the US Government. This island facility performs experimentation on animals, conducts special projects and other sorts of things we as Americans are not privy to. Did you know the town of Limes or Lime, I forget the exact naming convention, is near this experiment island? And this is where Limes disease kicked off its reign. Coincidence? I think not. So one can be led to believe they are not only doing animal testing but also chemical testing and perhaps even developing a type of virus that can be easily spread become terminal to anyone who comes in contact with it. Oh, and further proof. An animal, which was basically a cross between a kangaroo, velociraptor, turtle, and pig washed up in a town called Montauk, NY in 2008. No one know what it was, where it came from or how it got there. Look it up. Montauk monster. Talk about WTF. I can’t even post a pic of it on here because it will make you vomit. Eat a light lunch, put your children to bed, and take a seat. Then google this shit.

P.S. Guess where this Plum Island “Research Center” is relocating to? Kansas. Yup, smack dab in the middle of America. Now, if you didn’t think this place wasn’t unpredictable and dangerous enough, now they are positioned in the midwest. A prime location to, oh I don’t know, infect a herd of cows…something like mad cow disease, something that would ruin us. Something that could spread like wildfire and no one would know where it came from. They say wildfires are unstoppable. Think about a mutated virus that could take out the majority of the U.S. overnight. You know how spun up people got about anthrax. And about the outbreak of mad cow disease in England. I believe it was 2004? They sectioned off a 30 mile perimeter from the diseased animals and killed every single living creature in the vicinity. Not humans of course, but your goldfish Fido, your puppy Max, and your cat Keiki. Dead. They shot them all, piled them up, and burned them to a crisp. Word is if you could see the piles of animals from a mile away. Stacked high and burning. What if this happened in the U.S., and the cows were slaughtered, packaged, and shipped off to sprawling locations across the states. We have all seen those ads where you can order frozen steaks that come on dry ice through the mail. Who knows what exact farm these are delivered from. How long would it take to discover that this disease had crippled the midwest, and how would we deal with it here? There was a ban on England’s beef exports for at lease 4 years. Not only would the economy go to shit if there was an embargo placed on beef exports, what would we do if half of America was infected? –Recreational camps perhaps?

In an unrelated matter but still under the category of WTF…So I get into work today and there is an individual sitting on my computer. Now, this certain someone does not work back here, nor was he invited back here. Fine, you can have my computer if you need to use it for a few mins…that is kosher. (might I add a sidenote ..this is not exactly my computer persay, there are several workstations here, about five, but this is the one we mainly use) What is not kosher is after 30 mins you are still sitting there bullshitting with the help. Please, be aware of your surroundings, and cognizant of when people need to start their day! You are sitting here in civies and I’m sitting here in uniform, who do you think has first priority? Eh? Me. And oh by the way I WORK in this space.

Ugh, so I hop on my computer (after he-who-will-not-be-named) departs. And I then learn that he has a mutated strain of desert flu virus. Procedure as follows: 1. Wipe down computer 2. Wipe down computer 3. Wipe down chair and desk. Finally, I sit down and log in and get my day started. Not two minutes later.. I get a waft of a terrible terrible stench up my nostrils. It was like he bathed in grease and oil, fell asleep in front of the tv with cheeto breath and porn strewn about, woke up from a drunken haze and came into work to sloth at this very computer. Shit’s bananas. Next step. 1. Breathe out my nose 2. Wipe down computer, wipe down chair, wipe down desk 3. Wipe down chair. Okay, stanch gone..5 mins’s back again. This isn’t going to work. His essence has become one with this very desk and chair. So, I switch out the chairs. This has got to be it. And voilah! Stench gone. I realized it was his back-to-the-future coat that had left the smell permanently in the chair. I don’t know how long he had been sitting here, but it was like a library smell, like this damn chair had sat in his house for decades. It’s across the room now. Problem Solv-ed.




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